5 Easy Steps to Bonding

The wait is finally over; your new baby is going to arrive today. You have done everything in your power to have a healthy pregnancy and birth. You want to be the best mom for your precious gift.

A crucial part of this is bonding.

Bonding is the connection between the newborn and family or other humans. Babies who bond well are happier, healthier and better adjusted.

5 Easy Steps to Bonding

1. Skin to skin contact: Immediately after the birth, your newborn should be placed in your arms. This contact allows you to groom and clean your baby. You gently touch, explore, massage, and smell your newborn. This act allows you to release a chemical in your brain called oxytocin also known as the “love” hormone. You fall in love with your baby and your baby falls in love with you.

2. Eye contact: You baby will be alert and awake the first hour after birth. Your baby’s eyes will be searching for yours. Your baby knows you. He has heard your voice, your heartbeat and felt your rhythms. Now he is ready to see you. This contact allows new pathways to form in his brain that will impact him for a lifetime.

3. Talk to your baby: You baby knows your voice. Hearing it brings calmness to his world. Birth is a difficult event for your baby. Your voice brings back normalcy. Sing to your baby if that is what you have done during your pregnancy. The human voice is powerful. Let your baby hear YOUR voice first and above all others in the room.

4. Listen to your maternal voice: During your pregnancy you have bonded with your baby. Your nurturing brain has changed and grown. You know how to care for your new baby. Listen. Your brain will tell you what to do. No website, magazine article or book can replace your maternal instinct. Love your baby and trust yourself.

5. Spend time with your new baby: Don’t allow your baby to be separated from you. Often babies are taken away for baths, screenings and evaluation. Ask that these procedures be done in your room. Ask for rooming in, so that your baby is not taken to a nursery. This allows you to get to know your babies needs so that you can be responsive without relying on someone else to make that observation and then respond.

Let Nature Take It's Course

 James T. Breeden, MD, President of ACOG wrote the article following : 

My comments are in italics


“Let nature take its course.”
I couldn't agree more. 


"Over the years, I’ve found this saying particularly applies to the process of giving birth. My personal experience as an ob-gyn and reams of scientific research demonstrate that Mother Nature knows best when a child is ready to be born. The start of natural labor is the main sign, but we’re not always patient enough to wait for it."

My personal experience also has been when we wait for labor to begin on it's own, birth is much more straightforward and effective. My clients also get tired of being pregnant and uncomfortable. As a midwife, I too sometime grow weary of waiting for God's perfect timing. 
I also find it difficult when we approach that 42 week mark, not because I don't think mom's are capable of delivering at that point, but because I know if we have a transport into the hospital, we are all going to be looked at like we have 3 heads. "nothing good happens after 40 weeks" is a popular quote at our local hospital. Although I find this statement untrue and very restrictive, I certainly understand why it is said. We as people like to be in control, allowing women to go into labor on their own shows lack of control. That can be very frightening if you are then going to be held responsible for the outcome.

 "Today, one in three babies in the US are born by cesarean—the delivery of a baby through an incision in the mother’s abdomen and uterus."


This stat is staggering! But TRUE! Let's break that down...three babies are born in your neighborhood this spring...one is going to be by C-Section.  This rate should be 10% or less. In midwifery run birth centers, the rate is 6%


"The rate of labor induction is also at an all-time high. Unfortunately, many of these births occur before the pregnancy is considered “term” at 39 weeks. These upward trends have long been a source of concern in the medical community, especially considering the increased risks to a baby who may not be fully developed at delivery."

I don't know that rate of induction at our local hospital, but informally I know my clients are under a microscope by their friends and family to be induced. They are often pressured, even before their due date at 40 weeks with statements like "when are you going in for your induction?" or "how long is your midwife going to let you go?" As if that would be my call... Our birth culture is one of fear and control. Bad things are going to happen if we don't intervene. The TRUTH: Bad things happen when we DO intervene. 


" Among cesarean deliveries, an estimated 2.5% (more than 100,000 births each year) are scheduled on a designated date by the mother and her doctor. Some women cite reasons such as a lower risk of future incontinence, better sexual functioning after childbirth, and fear of pain as motivations to schedule cesareans. Inevitably, some cesareans (and labor inductions, too) are scheduled before a pregnancy is full term, increasing the risk of negative outcomes for the newborn, including respiratory problems and time spent in the neonatal intensive care unit. The fact remains that due dates are estimates, and you can never be sure that the infant will have reached optimal maturity at the time of a scheduled delivery."

All excellent points and let's add to that the cost. 
This quote is from a study published in the  Journal of Midwifery and Women's Health www.jmwh.org

The cesarean birth rate in this cohort was 6% versus the estimated rate of 25% for similarly low-risk women in a hospital setting. Had this same group of 15,574 low-risk women been cared for in a hospital, an additional 2934 cesarean births could be expected. The Medicare facility reimbursement for an uncomplicated cesarean birth in a hospital in 2011 was $4465.49 Given the increased payments for facility services for cesarean birth compared with vaginal birth in the hospital, the lower cesarean birth rate potentially saved an additional $4,487,524. In total, one could expect a potential savings in costs for facility services of more than $30 million for these 15,574 births.

" Women should keep in mind that cesarean delivery is no walk in the park. While it’s a safe option, cesarean delivery is a major surgery and comes with a number of risks, such as placental complications in future pregnancies, problems with anesthesia, infection, and longer recovery times. Certain urgent situations—such as preeclampsia, eclampsia, multiple fetuses, fetal growth restriction, and poorly controlled diabetes—may make it necessary to deliver the baby before the onset of natural labor."

Again, totally agree. There is a time and place for everything. Good midwifery care involves transferring care to an appropriate care provider if then mom and baby are no longer low risk. Good collaborative care is essential.


"However, newly issued guidelines from ACOG remind women and ob-gyns that in uncomplicated pregnancies, a vaginal birth that occurs after the natural onset of labor is ideal."

Say it again!!! 


"Additional new ACOG guidelines reaffirm that cesareans and labor inductions should only be performed when medically-necessary. Delaying delivery until labor starts naturally may not make ob-gyns too popular with a patient who’s uncomfortable and near the end of her pregnancy, but it’s a decision that will pay dividends by giving the baby the extra time it needs to face the world. 

So hoping more and more OBGYNs latch on to this concept and support women with low risk pregnancies. 
In the meantime, this is the philosophy midwives has held to for all of history.

 We trust women, 

We trust God in His perfect design. 

We trust the TRUTH is be told with all the research being done.

You work with babies...ah, how sweet !

I always find this statement very interesting. Yes, I love babies. I was a preschool directoress for many years, I love children. I am fascinated by them. But, what I really like is working with women!
Women are the most complex beings God created.

• We are strong and powerful, but like to be protected. (I am going to speak in generalities. I know this is not politically correct. If you don't agree with me, it's ok. I know there are exceptions to every rule.)
• We are tough when they have to be and incredibly gentle. Women have insecurities that may have began at very young age about the oddest things--"you would have been a tall girl if you didn't have so much turned under for feet" and we believe them!
• We hear and process everything around us as if it appied to us. We are protective of our children--I have seen women beat the *snot* out of their child, but you let a neighborhood child call them a name and the claws come out.
• Women can whine about a hangnail to the point you would have thought amputation was going to be necessary, and endure difficult long labors without a peep.
• We want independence at time, but love support-emotionally and physically.
• Women are highly emotional, but try to come across as cool and collected at all time.

I love working with women! There is always a delicate dance when women are together. We are intuitive, but miss the signs at times. We put out feelers to see what is going to be helpful and thrive on feedback. It gives me no greater thrill for an expectant woman to call me and express an interest in natural birth. We walk through the pregnancy together, week by week. We get to know each other. I learn likes and dislikes. I hear of insecurities and tried to provide wise counsel. We overcome fears and inhabitions. We process news reports, scarey stories, comments from the guy at WalMart, The Baby Story, and what aunt Susie's 2nd cousin once removed had to happen to her back in 1909. Sometimes we cry together at the end of pregnancy when the pregnancy just seems too long or when someone has dealt with just one too many negative comments about how "big" they are getting.

In labor the dance continues. What is working, what isn't. What helps, what makes it worse. The baby's heart beat gives delight...to both of us. I rub backs and talk moms through contractions when that seems needed or I stay completely out of the way and facilitate normacy. When women get ready to push their baby into my welcoming hands, I trust them to know when to push and how to push. I am watchful and expect everything to go just as it is planned because we are wonderfully created to give birth.

I receive their new baby as I would a gift, with a thankful heart. I rejoice that another young woman has been empowered with the knowledge and confidence that giving birth brings. I treat that newborn with all the love and respect possible holding them gently and welcoming them to this world. I want their first experience with people to be positive. I believe we can change the world by treating other like we want to be treated... this includes babies.

I love watching women become mothers. We are tender, warm and compassionate. We have an inborn ability to be responsive to our little ones. We have the ability to provide that newborn everything he/she needs just as we did when they were growing inside of our bodies.

Women are strong, amazing beings created in the image of God.

Have I told you how much I love working with women?

More on The Business of Being Born

Just got an invite to another viewing of this awesome film. It will be shown at The Huges Main Library in Greenville on Saturday, October 27 at 2 pm and then again on Sunday at 3:00 at Coffee Underground in Greenville. The cost is $10 per person and half price for expectants moms.