Sleeping Babies

I have been contemplating a post I read recently about babies not sleeping at night. I decided to reread a book "Being BabyWise" because of some very bad reviews I had heard. Comments like "this method is dangerous" and "detrimental to breastfeeding relationships"
My first exposure to this method was with a family who had two children, they now have six. When I arrived at their home for an initial visit, the children were in their room, with a baby gate in the doorway so they could see their parents. They played contently for about an hour while we talked. At the end of our meeting, the mom pulled out banana bread and drinks for all of us including the children. They sat at the table with us and "engaged" in conversation while we enjoyed our delicious snack. They were polite, the mother was calm, the home was orderly and pleasant. I asked her what parenting technique she used and she shared with me the book. As with anything you read or are exposed to, she had made modifications to the method to fit her family needs.
I have watched this family grow through the years. They are respectful to one another, loving and compassionate. Their lives are orderly. They are happy and well adjusted.
My point in all this pondering...read for yourself, take the good, ditch the bad and accept that there are many different methods out there and they all work for some people. Take a look around you and observe the families you admire, use them as a model. You may not do everything they are doing, but you can pick up a nugget from each one.
Be responsive to you children, but not reactionary. This can go two ways. You may be react because of the way you were raised...I won't ever do _____ to my children. (very dangerouse words) Or you may react to your child. Take the time to figure out what your child is needing (yes needed are different than wants) and respond appropriately.
Use common sense. Children have no boundaries except what you set. They are constantly testing those limits to see what is acceptable. It is ok for you, as the mom, to have needs. You are not selfish if you need sleep, to go to the bathroom, take a shower, or eat. I know you may be thinking, surely moms don't feel guilty about doing basic care for themselves...surprise, I actually talk to moms who have not showered all day because or eaten because if they put their baby down, they will cry...and they feel they are being bad mothers for allowing their baby to cry for the 10 minutes it would take to hop in the shower. Now lest someone take what I just said and completely twist it around...I am not advocating ignoring or abandoning your children. What I am saying is recognize your need, recognize your child's need and make a compromise.
It may look like this...
Mommy needs to _________ (you fill in the blank: get a shower, fix lunch, get sleep) You have been fed, changed, held and loved. I understand you like to be held and mommy loves to hold you, but right now I need a ________ so I am going to put you down in this safe place and I will be back to you in just a few minutes. You will not warp your child or make them insecure with this approach. They are very smart. They will learn you have not abandon them, you do come back, and they learn to comfort themselves.
I will reserve my opinion of BabyWise until I have finished rereading it. I let you know what I think. For now, remember that you family is a unit made up of memebers and each member has needs. The family unit will function much better and with less resentment in the long run if each member has their need met and no one member's needs are elevated for extended periods of time.